Cheese on Toast – or not coping

I used to be a good cook but as Dementia has progressed my skills  have diminished to cheese on toast. boiled eggs and toast beans on toast and tea and coffee.

It didn’t matter because Paul has always been a good cook and loved cooking but now he has dementia too, vascular dementia, and it is progressing at a frightening rate unlike my very slowly progressing Alzheimer’s Disease.

Last night I had cheese on toast for dinner for the sixth night in a row. It doesn’t really matter, there is always loads of fresh fruit in the bowl but it is an indication of how bad things are getting. Paul is barely eating at all in spite of my best efforts. His continual hiccups leave him exhausted and he exists on milky coffee digestive biscuits and jelly babies.

My incontinence is getting worse, well it is not getting worse I am not managing it so well because I simply forget to change my pads and forget to ask people to remind me.This leaves me in uncomfortable and embarrassing situations. I can usually dress myself unaided with a struggle with trousers but sometimes I know I am wearing something that is overdue for the washing basket. I can’t read the clock and am useless with numbers and money. 

On the other hand I am still an effective campaigner, my articulation is as it always was, and so is my writing, whether it is poetry or speeches. No one would think when they see me ‘performing’what is going on behind the scenes.

The house is beautifully decorated for Christmas, except for a chair piled high with things that need sorting and the hall which looks like Paddy’s market. All my Christmas shopping is done except for two difficult people and a good lot is packed. (God bless you Amazon. I know I know I shouldn’t use it but I do.}

My friends and family continue to be supportive although reading this I am aware I do a lot of ‘ I’m fine’ We manage without any outside help though perhaps that time is coming when we are going to have to ask. But I’m not sure what to ask for.

So all in all cheese and toast and a tin of ice cold gin and tonic in a nice glass is not a bad diet but ‘ living well with Dementia’ I’m not sure.

4 thoughts on “Cheese on Toast – or not coping

  1. Shelagh, I’m sending loving thoughts – you are a wonderful woman.


  2. Hello Shelagh, I’m belatedly picking up that you’ve blogged. I’m sorry to hear about Paul, that’s rotten.
    I recently listened to a Podcast on BBC Sounds: it was two young (by our standards) talking about living with autism. The guy was saying that he often forgets to put his shoes on as he leaves the house, one day he got to the bottom of the street before he realised that he was bare foot – now he has a sign by his front door to remind him to put his shoes on.
    It made me realise that so many of us, with or without conditions, have coping mechanisms in place. My partner has dyslexia and I’m constantly learning how to support him to remember, start, complete and/or even notice things because his dyslexia isn’t especially about difficulty reading and writing.
    I have many routines in my daily life because if I don’t it increases the risk of stress to me and I imagine that would be difficult if I become cognitively impaired.
    Anyway, I’m finding it hard to think of what you could have in place to remind you about your pads… perhaps a pager in your pants, set to vibrate periodically, now that might make you smile if nothing else šŸ™‚
    Take care Shelagh and remember to put cheese on your shopping list


  3. Hello Shelagh. Tru here. not allowed to use knives or cooking appliaces, but new discovery. Can put raw egg inside Insta-Pot, run it & let it sit for a few minutes then run it again. produces boiled egg with no “dangerous” appliances that i might not remember to turn off ((big smile)).


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